When our mother remarried after the death of our father it was a huge adjustment for my siblings and me. We don't really use the term stepfather, which I have never really liked the sound of. While he did step into a role in meeting the needs of our mother, we were not quite ready to have someone fill the role of our father. His twenty-one years of patiently guiding our lives has won him over to all of us, some more than others. For me this is kind of a turning point. I want to call him something more than the husband of my mother. Do you have any suggestions for such a title?
My children have had four grandfathers, each of them playing important roles in their lives. I truly honor the man who marry into existing families and take on the challenge of rearing another man's children. When this involves the death of the first husband I believe this can be very difficult. These men have been a very positive influence for our children and I am grateful for them.
For our family this meant that someone stepped into enjoy what my father had worked all his life to give to our family. My father worked unceasingly to provide the best for our mother and us, not retiring until after his diagnosis. They built a lovely new home, on a hill overlooking the Clackamas River, eight years before his death. We all felt a great protective instinct to protect our mother and what our father worked so hard to build.
Over the past twenty-one years our mother has enjoyed a wonderful companionship. He has helped to maintain this lovely home and always greets us with open arms. He is always there to help us in times of celebration and trials. We cannot have been blessed with anyone finer to fill the needs of our family. So, I wish I had a better title for him than stepfather, as he is truly one of my fathers.
Thank you Ken for all you have done for our family and for me to help me be a better person. I think I will just call you my second-father.
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